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Trouble reaching orgasm

Trouble reaching orgasm

Women and girls, but sometimes boys and men too, can find it difficult to reach orgasm. It takes too long or doesn't happen at all.

Why doesn't it happen?

  • You're not turned on or you’re tense.
  • You're somewhere else with your thoughts.
  • You don't trust your partner completely, or your relationship is not going well.
  • You’re too focused on wanting to have an orgasm.
  • You think it’s not going to happen anyway.
  • You’re afraid you’re going to pull a funny face or make a strange noise.
  • You’re not being touched in the right way.
  • You’ve drunk or taken drugs.

Never had an orgasm

Have you never had an orgasm? Don’t worry. Try playing with yourself and see if that helps. Men can try masturbating. Women can have an orgasm by fingering themselves. Having penetrative sex doesn’t always give a woman an orgasm. Women have an orgasm when their clitoris is touched too. You may have sex for months or years before ever having an orgasm.

It doesn't happen with your partner

Some young people have an orgasm when they play with themselves, but not with a partner. How is that possible? It's often to do with trust, being tense, not letting go, or the way you're being touched. Talk to your sex partner and go on a voyage of discovery together. If you can do it yourself, you can teach your partner to as well.

5 tips for an orgasm

  1. Go to the toilet before you start making love. Then you'll be more relaxed.
  2. Do you notice you’ve stopped getting excited? Stick with it, often you have an orgasm shortly afterwards.
  3. Take your time. Don't focus on having an orgasm, but on the wonderful sensations you're feeling. If you think you ought to have an orgasm, it's not going to happen.
  4. When you're having sex, choose a position where the clitoris and the head of the penis get well stimulated.
  5. Don't try to have an orgasm together! Hardly anyone has that.

Female orgasm

Female orgasm

A woman who is aroused can have an orgasm. Coming is another word for orgasm.

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Male orgasm

Male orgasm

A man who is aroused can have an orgasm. Coming is another word for orgasm.

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More on Orgasm?