The Dutch site for all your questions about sex
nl en

What is an orgasm?

When a woman has an orgasm (comes), the muscles in the pelvic floor contract. These muscles surround your vagina and anus. Sometimes you can feel this in your uterus as well. It may even cause a spasm through your whole body. These contractions give you a rush and make you feel sexy.

This is how it works

Most women come when their clitoris is touched. When you’re aroused, your vagina becomes moist: you get ‘wet’. Other things happen to your body when you are aroused. Your nipples get stiff, your lips get red, your heart beats faster, your pupils get larger, your breathing speeds up and some women gasp or moan with pleasure.

How do you get lubricated?

  • Do what excites and pleases you when making love.
  • Fantasise about exciting things.
  • Relax and take your time. Women often need more time to get aroused than men do.

Use your sensitive spots

Having your sensitive spots touched can turn you on. Touching certain places gives you an extra great feeling. For women that's the vagina and clitoris. But your neck, arms, breasts and bottom are sensitive too. Would you like to know where your sensitive spots are, or your partner’s ones?

How does a woman have an orgasm?

Stimulate the clitoris, perhaps by stroking it with your finger or licking it. Stick to the same rhythm and tempo for a while. Penetrative sex alone is not enough to give most women an orgasm. A woman has an orgasm more easily through fingering and cunnilingus. Women like the movement to carry on for a bit after having an orgasm.

Multiple orgasms

A woman can come more than once. That's because the clitoris returns to its normal size 10 to 15 seconds after an orgasm. The clitoris is once again sensitive to new stimulation. Men need a recovery period.

G-spot

Some women have a G-spot. Certain positions can stimulate the G-spot during penetrative sex or during fingering. In some women a lot of moisture is released when they come. This is called female ejaculation. It feels like you're having a pee but it's vaginal fluids, not urine. 

Coming together

Did you both come at the same time? Count yourselves lucky! Usually it's not that easy to have an orgasm together. Don't make it compulsory. If it happens that's fine, but coming one after the other is exciting too. Then you can focus more on your partner and enjoy seeing his or her orgasm.

Want to know how male orgasm works?

Want to know how male orgasm works? Male orgasm